Tough not to find oneself knocked prone by the first seven lines of โNew Translation.โ This is just the kind of vocabulary that wins me: strong, terse monosyllables bounding in the ear, โglitch,โ โLukeโ โhack,โ โglossed.โ โRum misadventureโ is such fun that it nearly spawns a group of pub poems following. More impressive: it took me to about the โclunk/monkโ coupling in lines ten and 12 to realize I was on a rhyming trip; and at that point, one can only marvel at the expert work in โLuke/lake,โ โday/coy.โ
Beyond being enlivened by the moments of powerhouse language in โNew Translation,โ however, Iโve got to turn and return again to the mundane boudoir antics that scaffold the piece, whatever electricity the surface conducts.
I locate the first raveling near that pat-rhyme: โOur trial will come, with a banal clunk/certain as a nighttime accident/beneath the sheets of a novice monk.โ What makes rhyming structure so trying to manage in our day is, first, its complete telegraph, and next, that the poet must subjugate his meaning to the whims of the rhythm heโs decided to impose. And here it is, those nighttime accidents between the sheets. So Georgeโs ballasts of language must come blazing full battery to move me from the silliness (read: inconsequence) of what is saidโwhat?โthe piss of fear? the issue of a wet dream? A decidedly postmodern monk, I suppose.
But then, this is really what the poem is about: โunderwear dilates as she roves/into smelling distance.โ Laughable, really. And, suddenly, Iโm retracing my steps through the entire piece, questioning how exactly a female โrovesโ into distance of any kind, how hands have enough time to โget clammyโ with the surprise of a โclinch,โ and then, finally, โthe bluff/[is] exposed.โ Can I help a goddamned continued quote? am I not here โfeel[ing] for the deeper emphasisโ?
Stop, Spece. This feels like the George game, the tango in good clothes thatโs all about the loins underneath. I could do with some โdeeper emphasisโ all the way through: the poem is a relative disappointment, to that end. Regaining foothold has its drawbacks.


2 responses to “Dai George’s “New Translation””
Damn, you are not f**king around are you dude
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